wow, honestly.....

wow. this feeling is not new but its redone.
it's been remodified to fit another.
i never knew how much i actually liked her.
wow. i wonder if i'll ever get another chance.
only if she wants me, im here but i wont always be.

breathe.
just take a step back.
a second look.
second view of opinion.
to figure out
what exactly
it is you
are doing.

sunday. sunday. sunday.

today was a pretty ok day....i had a good time. i had a lot of time to think though. i hung out with a crush who unfortuneately has a girlfriend. but yeah thats life. if they were single i'd totally snatch them up.

cool beans?

summmerrrr

wow its almost half way overrr. tear (:

summer love... one. unexpected from the outside viewer. haha

summer boy....my first love. always and forever.

summmerr disaster... my tan. its ridiculous!

summer funn...not yet, hopefully i get to go to six flags!

summer work...homework and practice...inevitable sighh

summer movies....transformers two && up!

summer trauma... rest in peace michael jackson

summer summer summerrrrrrrrr

the morning is a new day that's refreshed. so push play.

i'm more of a morning person.
but lately i've been getting up around noon
and i hate it. i hate feeling like the day is gone right when i wake up.
so tomorrow im going to wake up at eight and just have some me time. hopefully i can get some me time in.

saturday

wow. a lot happened yesterday, both good and badd.
richard came by and picked me up yesterday to go to a family party. it was funn and i had a good time. we left for a little bit to the skate park then on the way back we stopped at an elementary school. we hopped a fence and played on the playground and went down the slide. it was funn and i had a good time.and it was super adorable and romantic.back at the party, we had pizza even though there was pretty good beaner food there lol. i'm just super picky on what i eat so i was totally ok with pizzza. i watched richard and david skate. it was pretty cool. i want to learn now but i dont want to embarrass myslef with falling. but over all it was a pretty funn day. i did find out a lot of disturbing things yesterday that made me want to cry but life is tough and you just have to live through it no matter how hard it is.

a new fresh start

hmmm..... i'm feeling a lot better today. the stress i was feeling the last couple of days has dwindled a lot and i'm glad. i have a few more things to fix, but i'm not going to rush into all that now. i am going to hang out with my ex this weekend which will be funn to just hang around and chill. looking foward to that. (=

so what had happened was......

ok well a friend(lets say jenn*) that i havnt seen since middle school came over yesterday. well she likes me but i dnt like her. i feel terrible bcuz i built this facade of emotions for her when all they are is poppycock. ok well my other friend (lets say sara*) texted me yesterday telling me that she got a girlfriend and i was upset about that. i was texting her for awhile when jenn took my phone and started texting sara and things got out of hand. jenn said some hurtful things and so did sara. i take the blame for all of this bcuz i wasnt strong/brave enough to take the phone from jenn. what was going on in my head? how could i let that happen to someone who i feel strongly for? what the hell!?
i did talk to sara's girlfriend last night and appologized for everything that happened and she forgived me. i told her if i was her i'd want to kick my ass. but she said that its all cool but that doesn't make me feel any better. i did call sara yesterday and appologized but thats not enough. when i talked to her i felt that she didnt want to talk to me and i totally deserve that. she said that we need to talk in person and i totally agree i just dont see how we can turn back from that. and the only person to blame is me. what happened was my fault and whats going to happen is all my fault. the end.

the blame is all on me

yesturday was completely out of hand and its all my fault. i should of never of let that happen and the only person to blame is me. and i am so sorry for whoever i let her hurt or offend. oh man you have no idea how terrible i feel and i am soo sorry.