Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Monday's Doodles


3/7/11

-She wears a striped sweater
not as nautical as it seems,
yet she wants to blend back
into the ocean and it's dreams.
-Dear Mary, you were right,
we become distructive, not
from fright, but from those
who walk the streets at night.
-How can I have a present,
if I never had a past?
-I really just want first
period to end, I woke
up in a bad mood and I bet
it will see a majority of
my day through.
-Today is the day where it
should all come through, dont
let that wretched horoscope
seep through, you like him and
he likes you, just go from there,
dont mess up more than you.
-My nails grow, then I bite them
back, my vein show on my
wrists, purple and blue and
bulge when I fist,
yet the engraving of the scars
is never lack.
-"The creater dies but the
monster lives."

and a picture:)

Friday, March 4, 2011

i..

i coexist with you.
you are the summer to my blue.
forever you, forever you.
love me, love me. i still love you.
damn the existence of the wretched thing.
i dont want to love you anymore,
yet i do.
i wish i never met you.

"thats what you get"

now here we are. where have we been this whole time?
you went left, i went right.
and yet, we seem to catch up all over again.
dont you wonder what is going on?
you grabbed my hand, and looked me in the eye,
however, my door is still closed.
you just dont know it yet.
i want to love you, but i cant.
it's hopeless. there is no time to even let anything flourish.
ha, i say this, but i still dont what to let you go,
at least not now anyway. we'll see how it goes in the morning.
maybe something can work out, just dont rush me.
in the end, i will always love you for you, just to me.

lips.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Front&Back



Front Page:
• “Oh darling don’t you ever grow up, just stay this little.
Oh darling don’t you ever grow up, just stay this simple.”
-Never Grow Up Taylor Swift
• She distances herself out of fear of not being accepting, but by that she completely takes away the chance. But in fantasy, is she too good enough?
• (Larger Text) Across the desk, she sits there. Lost in thought but still exactly nowhere. She sees him; he’s within her arms reach, but not within her grasp. It’s over, she knows it, he knows it. The bridge has been demolished, yet there is still hope of that faint, familiar understanding. Now there is also her. They were never friends but there was an unwanting force going from her to her. Now only I know which is which. From what I can see, she really is just jealous. Even though she has her own talent, she’s jealous of her abilities to create lives one paper. Their talents are distinct and powerful, yet one is unknown to the other, while the other wants to share but doesn’t feel that that one wants to hear it, let alone see it. And, well, it all comes down to her. From the very beginning, she’s never felt wanted, never felt love, but all she wants to do is be heard and love. She hears their comments, their conversations, still, always an outside viewer. All the daggered words she throws, whether or not they have a designated target, are truly just reflections of her inner emotions. That one girl was right. She says hurtful things so, so others can feel just a sense of her hurt as well. Why is she so broken? So damaged? So..wrong? she sees through eyes that are so far from her heart. Her carved out body just limp but always there. A leaf flies in the wind, she floats through the skies, she drifts like birds, the water hits the wind.
Back Page:
• I think the reason why I don’t go back to exes, is because I don’t want to reopen the door to what they know of me. I don’t want to admit they I let them know so much. Maybe it really is, just me.
• “Oh darling, don’t you ever grow up, don’t you ever grow up, just stay this little. Oh darling don’t you ever grow up, don’t you ever grow up, just stay this simple.” I’ve never been simple.
• “I’ve never been simple.” Maybe that is just a lie. Maybe I’m not as complex as I see myself to be. Maybe it’s just an excuse to hide the real, depressing, complications of me.
• She really just likes to be alone, or maybe, she doesn’t see that she has any other chances. And, after all, it’s easier this way.”
• Why does she just close, while she knows she can do, so much?
• She makes eye contact only for just a second, she doesn’t want anyone to see, how truly hurt she is to be”
• I need to burn more than I consume, to actually make a difference

photographs




Saturday, January 29, 2011

Saturday, January 22, 2011

split personality..

there is a facebook.com/seanantonia and a seanantonia.blogspot.com, not try and chose, which one is the real me?