"dark was the night"

revealing was the night.
dazed and confused was the day.
both of us were striped bare.
minds ravaged and raped through.
bodies yearning to move..to move closer..
through the spaces of empy matter and street lights.
..oh what is it that i have done?
there is no armor left protecting you.
i broke through, wist most of the help,
coming from..you.
now, will you ever get the chane to do the same to me,
instead of you?
will you?
ha will you..

my dogs bed..

i can close my eyes and see a heart.
vines are all around it,
suffocating it..keeping it together.
there is darkness surrounding the beating life form..
a red glow from within.
am i your red glow from within?

"it's going to be worth it"

"i want you here inside me, say the word"

darf ich off die toilette gehen..(chuckles with laughter)

"who in here is being honest?"

that is a very good question, who could the truth speaker be?

i really need to get my act together today. i have to call hsu, have to clean my room, call my grandpa, email my aunt, should email both but idk, email my grandmother, learn how to play the guitar, atleast one cord, put up my posters and do another facial. i have eleven hours and eight minutes until this day is over, shouldnt be so hard right? oh and fill out the two scholarships i have in my bad.

it shouldnt, yet i continuously dissapoint myself bcz i never complete the easy goals i set. i am a lazy procrastinater and i am completely upset right now bcz i am jjust sitting here writing this down when i could be doing on of the above. why am i still sitting here?

there

there is about a few of them who think they know me, and i laugh when they try and tell me who i am and why i do, say, and think the things i do. i remember once when one of them comfronted me i shut down completely bcz i was afraid they were getting close but no, no one will ever get that close. no matter how far they think they've gone in they will never reach the core. and no this isnt just a defense mechanism, its the truth. no one with get as close as me.

its funny how

its funny how i can just close my eyes and be in a completely different setting. i'm there, i'm young, i'm right outside the library, on my way to class. and there you are. i see you walking in front of me. i am a child, innicent, unexperienced. and then there is you. you seemed experienced, older for you age. always thought you were one step ahead and now here you are. you're life has fast forwarded actions far beyond your years and yet you are still a child. i am still a child. but not as young as i was then. as young as i was when i first met you. i think about it now and i really was in love with you. but now, i cant seem to reattach myself to that, well what i thought, would always be such a strong emotion. when i see you smile and laugh, i get the faint feeling of those past emotions, but they dont stay. who knows, maybe they might turn up more often then not, but as of now, im floating in a lonely sea with passerbys starting straight at me. but what they see, and who they believe is me is nothing close to the truth, as clear as the heart can see, can be, you probably will never know..the real me.

another oil pastel

another drawing.