a new fresh start

hmmm..... i'm feeling a lot better today. the stress i was feeling the last couple of days has dwindled a lot and i'm glad. i have a few more things to fix, but i'm not going to rush into all that now. i am going to hang out with my ex this weekend which will be funn to just hang around and chill. looking foward to that. (=

so what had happened was......

ok well a friend(lets say jenn*) that i havnt seen since middle school came over yesterday. well she likes me but i dnt like her. i feel terrible bcuz i built this facade of emotions for her when all they are is poppycock. ok well my other friend (lets say sara*) texted me yesterday telling me that she got a girlfriend and i was upset about that. i was texting her for awhile when jenn took my phone and started texting sara and things got out of hand. jenn said some hurtful things and so did sara. i take the blame for all of this bcuz i wasnt strong/brave enough to take the phone from jenn. what was going on in my head? how could i let that happen to someone who i feel strongly for? what the hell!?
i did talk to sara's girlfriend last night and appologized for everything that happened and she forgived me. i told her if i was her i'd want to kick my ass. but she said that its all cool but that doesn't make me feel any better. i did call sara yesterday and appologized but thats not enough. when i talked to her i felt that she didnt want to talk to me and i totally deserve that. she said that we need to talk in person and i totally agree i just dont see how we can turn back from that. and the only person to blame is me. what happened was my fault and whats going to happen is all my fault. the end.

the blame is all on me

yesturday was completely out of hand and its all my fault. i should of never of let that happen and the only person to blame is me. and i am so sorry for whoever i let her hurt or offend. oh man you have no idea how terrible i feel and i am soo sorry.