Saturday, October 10, 2009
broken hearted.
this is so hard. i never knew i can hurt this bad. i haven't cried this much in months.
"you were my everything.
i gave you everything.
more than i had.
i loved you with all my heart.
i gave you the key.
but it couldnt stop
you from hurting me.
you have no idea
how broken i am."
you want to remain close but that's not going to happen for awhile. i know myself more than you, i know how i handle such things. its funny how i already know how im going to mend. im going to end up resenting everyone, then completely isolating myself from the rest of my world. i'm going to need something to fill the emptiness that is inside me. i just hope i chose wisely. bcz i know that whatever i choose is not going to be the best choice. i hope i can do this.
"i have a yearning to fill the void that is inside.
a need to fill that empty space in my heart
that you didn't hesitate to make.
i am broken, how can i become hole again?"
you may think you know but honestly you have no idea what affect you had over me. past tense is the key to moving on from inner misery.
haha break up over aim, typical. i dont have time for you? lie. don't you know that ive given up so much for you? how i gave you everything. i have nothing left. i hurt so much inside, how am i going to hide this? how can i hide the hurt that is building up inside? i hope you hurt as much as me. no, no i dont, i would never want to wish this upon someone else. i just hope you realize what you've done before it's too late.
the only way i could ever resent you is if you made me feel this way and now that you have, good luck.
im sorry im working for something in my life. i told you this from the get go that junior year was going to be crazy but you said you'd work through it with me. did you? are you? not anymore. way to eat your words.
ha this does sound harsh and im sorry but i need to say something. i cant keep this bottled up forever.
i'm not unstable. well no i am. i wonder why? who's fault could that be?
it's not a break up because i didnt do anything wrong i guess. wait may i add that this a break up. it is a break up. we did break up. ahh it seems so fake. as if im in a bad dream. i want to wake up but in truth, this is now my reality. i loved you with every essence of my being. i wanted to grow old with you. but i guess that dream will never come true. so much for wishing on 11:11.
you dont know how many times i did that. the same wish over and over again to make sure that it will come true. look at where i am now.
how can i not be sad? as much as i dont want to be it's inevitable the feelings that are coming over me.
"ok i'll let you go"
"you already did"
"why would you say that?"
because it's true. you let me go a long time before you said you did and yet i failed to realize it. if i would have known it wouldn't of hurt me this much. but i was so in-denial that you could ever feel this way. after all, you did love me right?
ha how i was so naive. i shouldn't of let you hurt me this way. but in truth, i would of rather loved and gotten heart broken then never having loved at all.
there is no way of letting this end on good terms. you're over me and now i have to try my hardest to get over you. ahh this still doesnt feel real. i wonder how monday is going to feel? i wonder if i will able to hold it all in. just one look at you might send me crashing. please let me be strong.
you screwed me over. now look what i am going to become. not some monster or anything of the sort but more of, an internal demolisher. try to figure that one out.
"its not like your losing me forever im still here whenever you need me"
yeah right. go ahead and run away.
"i love you with everything and if you were here i'd be holding you tight"
it still wouldnt change anything. only if we were together. it would of given you the opportunity to see how you broke me.
you'll still love me forever. bull. how can you love someone but still hurt them so much? how can you just not look down when they are there broken and on their knees? crying out for you while you stand there covering your hears not wanted to take the blame for making your 'loved one' hurt this much.
"i want to show you that i really love you."
and how are you going to do that?
"by giving my heart to you"
you should of done that when you first told me you loved me.
if you really truly love me like you say you wouldn't of let this happen. you wouldn't of hammered at my already broken heart in hopes of creating your own damage.
oh how will i get through this? will i ever will?
yes. i will. it is going to be a mighty struggle but i am strong.
try this in the future? good luck.
"okay, i love you! bye"
goodbye.
"you were my everything.
i gave you everything.
more than i had.
i loved you with all my heart.
i gave you the key.
but it couldnt stop
you from hurting me.
you have no idea
how broken i am."
you want to remain close but that's not going to happen for awhile. i know myself more than you, i know how i handle such things. its funny how i already know how im going to mend. im going to end up resenting everyone, then completely isolating myself from the rest of my world. i'm going to need something to fill the emptiness that is inside me. i just hope i chose wisely. bcz i know that whatever i choose is not going to be the best choice. i hope i can do this.
"i have a yearning to fill the void that is inside.
a need to fill that empty space in my heart
that you didn't hesitate to make.
i am broken, how can i become hole again?"
you may think you know but honestly you have no idea what affect you had over me. past tense is the key to moving on from inner misery.
haha break up over aim, typical. i dont have time for you? lie. don't you know that ive given up so much for you? how i gave you everything. i have nothing left. i hurt so much inside, how am i going to hide this? how can i hide the hurt that is building up inside? i hope you hurt as much as me. no, no i dont, i would never want to wish this upon someone else. i just hope you realize what you've done before it's too late.
the only way i could ever resent you is if you made me feel this way and now that you have, good luck.
im sorry im working for something in my life. i told you this from the get go that junior year was going to be crazy but you said you'd work through it with me. did you? are you? not anymore. way to eat your words.
ha this does sound harsh and im sorry but i need to say something. i cant keep this bottled up forever.
i'm not unstable. well no i am. i wonder why? who's fault could that be?
it's not a break up because i didnt do anything wrong i guess. wait may i add that this a break up. it is a break up. we did break up. ahh it seems so fake. as if im in a bad dream. i want to wake up but in truth, this is now my reality. i loved you with every essence of my being. i wanted to grow old with you. but i guess that dream will never come true. so much for wishing on 11:11.
you dont know how many times i did that. the same wish over and over again to make sure that it will come true. look at where i am now.
how can i not be sad? as much as i dont want to be it's inevitable the feelings that are coming over me.
"ok i'll let you go"
"you already did"
"why would you say that?"
because it's true. you let me go a long time before you said you did and yet i failed to realize it. if i would have known it wouldn't of hurt me this much. but i was so in-denial that you could ever feel this way. after all, you did love me right?
ha how i was so naive. i shouldn't of let you hurt me this way. but in truth, i would of rather loved and gotten heart broken then never having loved at all.
there is no way of letting this end on good terms. you're over me and now i have to try my hardest to get over you. ahh this still doesnt feel real. i wonder how monday is going to feel? i wonder if i will able to hold it all in. just one look at you might send me crashing. please let me be strong.
you screwed me over. now look what i am going to become. not some monster or anything of the sort but more of, an internal demolisher. try to figure that one out.
"its not like your losing me forever im still here whenever you need me"
yeah right. go ahead and run away.
"i love you with everything and if you were here i'd be holding you tight"
it still wouldnt change anything. only if we were together. it would of given you the opportunity to see how you broke me.
you'll still love me forever. bull. how can you love someone but still hurt them so much? how can you just not look down when they are there broken and on their knees? crying out for you while you stand there covering your hears not wanted to take the blame for making your 'loved one' hurt this much.
"i want to show you that i really love you."
and how are you going to do that?
"by giving my heart to you"
you should of done that when you first told me you loved me.
if you really truly love me like you say you wouldn't of let this happen. you wouldn't of hammered at my already broken heart in hopes of creating your own damage.
oh how will i get through this? will i ever will?
yes. i will. it is going to be a mighty struggle but i am strong.
try this in the future? good luck.
"okay, i love you! bye"
goodbye.
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