epiphany

dont you see the sacrifices i take
in order to make you happy?
the chances i take
for you to not feel pain
i was never this way
i never used to care
but with you
i wouldn't dare
to stab at you
as you do me.
i go along with what you say
because i dont want you to be hurt.
i rather hurt me
then have you feel pain.
i dont enjoy the same things you do
so when i let you have your way
its only benefiting you
you may think thats its what i want
but in truth
it's all for you.
you like the power
the control i let you
have over me
for if i take demand
you wont like it.
you'll want to hurt me
because im stepping up to help myself.
you feel powerless
when your not in command.
dont you think that i dont know
what you feel,
what you know.
im in your head.
but i dont make an effect.
i see through your eyes
but you still try and take control
you didnt have control when you were younger
so now your taking that revenge on me
trying to feel
what you should of felt on me
dont you see?
i already know too much.
i can easily hurt you but i dont.
i wont take the risk
for i love you too much.

just please, for me
listen to what i say.
dont just hear it.
listen. take it in.
take your actions
but show that you know
how i feel
show me that you love me
and you really care.
bcz if you dont
i no longer will be here.

news flash

we've had enough warnings
we've had enough chances,
when will you learn?
will you ever learn?
when will you realize that
enough is enough?
when one say's no
it often means no.
why dont you learn from your mistakes?
you say you do,
but i beg to differ.
you dont.
you only realize when a bomb explodes.
that you are no longer in control.
that's when you fear your breaking.
you've gone through something like this before
why is it taking you so long to realize what's happening now?
dont you fear that you wont have the 'one' anymore.
the more you chase her away
the more you disregard her feelings
the more she is going to run
far far away from your grasp
and you wont be able to get her back.
you'll lose her forever.
will it take an effect then?
when you no longer have anything
is that when you will learn?
please tell me now
so that i know
if i need to stay
or i need to go.

boiling point

i want to release the pressure
that is hidden in the crevices of my being.
the only thing is,
i cant find it.
i cant find a way of getting it out.
i feel the need to release it,
but if i do...
would i know how to feel afterwards?
once the crack spreads...
it will shatter the glass
that holds my feelings.
and once it does..
you wont be able to hold onto the railings.
you may think you're capable of handling such thing
but i know that you are not.
once i say something.
you'll start to break.
it's no good
if we have two halves
with no way of becoming a whole.
if one doesn't want to take the sacrifice
to not be alone.

bubbling over...

bubbling over
past the place of saving.
time bomb in the making.

one more strike and I'm out.
one more worry and I'll break.
go back to the way i was,
more scars, more tears, more cracks
to my already broken heart.

would you want to do that to me?
i don't think you would
but in all honesty, you are.

the more you say that it doesn't matter
the greater importance it becomes to me.
the more you take that risk
the more i want to run away.

the more it looks like you don't care
the greater chance i'll run to someone who does.

you don't know how close I'm getting to locking myself
up in my arms and never opening up again.

i say do this, for me
but you go on bcz i didn't say anything.
before it happened.

you say you love me,
stop being selfish.
your only hurting me
pass the point of obscurity.

it's been awhile.

and i've just had the sudden urge to start crying...
to sit here and break down.

will you be able to handle me then?
when i no longer feel like going on
would you be able to save me?
are you strong enough
to keep me from heading face first off a cliff?
or would you think thats what i want
and let me fall?

are you capable of making a choice?
or taking precautions
to protect the ones you love?

can you risk what you want
for something that you need?

are you able to move past yourself
for the one you say you love?

to get help from above
if you know your not good enough?