it happens everytime

he talks about fighting.
the images in my mind
that form with that one single word.
the screaming... i can hear it
still.
i cant take it when i think about that day
i cant control what comes into my head
i cant block the images that should be dead.
im scarred for life
bcz of that single day.
and yet you wonder why i dont like fighting?
you didn't see what i saw.
you didn't hear what i heard.
you didn't feel how i felt.
you wont ever be scarred by that day
bcz it wasn't for you to witness,
even now i dont want to tell you
i dont want to poison someone else's mind
bcz i feel like sharing what happened to mine.

last nights dream

i had two
one was about him
and one was about you.

the first one was about my brother
all day yesterday i was holding onto him
just to keep him safe
for if anything happened to him
i wouldn't be alive anymore.
in my dream there were people chasing us
it was like a maze of fences
it was ridiculous
after running around for what seemed like eternity
the people chasing us caught up.
i let them take me
so my brother would have the chance to go
and to run
and be safe.

my other dream
brought back horrendous memories
of my past
and my feelings
and my fears.
i had a dream
that he admitted that he cheated on her
and i couldn't tell if she would let him stay
or make him go.
she was destroyed
but stayed strong
bcz in reality
she knew that he had
but in all fantasy
she hoped that he didn't.
its a fear of mine
to see her heart
her shield broken
the one that protected us
that no longer has power.
if that sense of reality hits
who will be the one to save her?