yeah, they did before my complexion went through the crater of the earth and i was a young child who needed to be molded.
what am i going to do? about the whole prom situation. i mean i still like him1 but would i have a good time? i think so...part of me would want to do it for my mom and the other part for the hope of having a fulfilling memory. i want prom to be a full memory...not a faint reflexion of my dress. what am i going to do about it all?
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
a letter to the editor..
deary, deary, 3/29/11
i close my eyes and peak out of a kitchen window.
only now is it you i see? wearing white. swinging a baby in your arms.
you look up at me and smile. who is it i see? is it you?
i'm writing this letter now, to express the window of my heart.
it's a wooden window. made up of four squares, white blinds on the inside.
right above the kitchen sink. where i wash my hands of emotions in the brew.
guitar strings run my dreams. hand seams tell me the direction to go as i breathe.
"i want to see my blood across the sand...from my window my only view, is you"
do you listen to music? do you feel the words scrape across your soul? the notes intertwine your skin? make you feel warm and glowing..come hold me..i want to see you.
i drop on my knees, defeated. a white dress covers my skin. hallways surrounding me, windows or doorways, im not sure. there is a train in the back ground. my hair is down.
are those tears i see on my face? what is my mouth doing?
wake up...i need to wake up.
oh, i'd like to.
the end.
i close my eyes and peak out of a kitchen window.
only now is it you i see? wearing white. swinging a baby in your arms.
you look up at me and smile. who is it i see? is it you?
i'm writing this letter now, to express the window of my heart.
it's a wooden window. made up of four squares, white blinds on the inside.
right above the kitchen sink. where i wash my hands of emotions in the brew.
guitar strings run my dreams. hand seams tell me the direction to go as i breathe.
"i want to see my blood across the sand...from my window my only view, is you"
do you listen to music? do you feel the words scrape across your soul? the notes intertwine your skin? make you feel warm and glowing..come hold me..i want to see you.
i drop on my knees, defeated. a white dress covers my skin. hallways surrounding me, windows or doorways, im not sure. there is a train in the back ground. my hair is down.
are those tears i see on my face? what is my mouth doing?
wake up...i need to wake up.
oh, i'd like to.
the end.
Beauty is Free..
.. is it really?
there is a stairway to my heart..
you can see it from the kitchen window.
i know that leaves breathe while they're attached to the stem.
i go, you go, I'm buried here.
am i tougher than her? him?
i find love in the warmth of others.
male, female, it doesn't matter to me,
it never has. i love whom i love.
and right now, i love quite a few.
but never again will it be you.
would it be bad, if the next time i saw you,
i turn your face partially black and blue?
oh, don't worry, what i said is not entirely the truth.
i'm too good to hurt you like you did me.
i'm still picking up the pieces, i've seemed to of
misplaced parts of my heart in the rug,
measly me, i simply vacuumed them all up.
i'll just have to make amends, adjustments, go down to my laboratory
and create a new, beating thing.
obviously, this one wont be as easy to break..
there is more time, why am i in such a rush?
things aren't good, when they're hastily put together.
breathe. breathe, breathe..i think i love you.
oh but i really don't want to. i really don't.
but i cant help it that i do.
you smile, i smile, i know you love me too.
but we'll really never be, fully intertwined with one another.
it just won't be...sadly... unfortunately.
there is a stairway to my heart..
you can see it from the kitchen window.
i know that leaves breathe while they're attached to the stem.
i go, you go, I'm buried here.
am i tougher than her? him?
i find love in the warmth of others.
male, female, it doesn't matter to me,
it never has. i love whom i love.
and right now, i love quite a few.
but never again will it be you.
would it be bad, if the next time i saw you,
i turn your face partially black and blue?
oh, don't worry, what i said is not entirely the truth.
i'm too good to hurt you like you did me.
i'm still picking up the pieces, i've seemed to of
misplaced parts of my heart in the rug,
measly me, i simply vacuumed them all up.
i'll just have to make amends, adjustments, go down to my laboratory
and create a new, beating thing.
obviously, this one wont be as easy to break..
there is more time, why am i in such a rush?
things aren't good, when they're hastily put together.
breathe. breathe, breathe..i think i love you.
oh but i really don't want to. i really don't.
but i cant help it that i do.
you smile, i smile, i know you love me too.
but we'll really never be, fully intertwined with one another.
it just won't be...sadly... unfortunately.
i just washed my hands.
breakfast at a restaurant: 30.00$
steve madden cougars: 90.00$
photo's of twiggy in the prime of her career: priceless.
what do you think of the word "fallie?" could it be used as a name?
i want to fall in love with a blog. well not an actual blog, but the writer.
i want to feel.."known" by the writer and feel the mysterious jolt of excited energy when leaving a comment to spark a smile on someone else's lips... is that a tad bit, weird?
hmm...i believe a tad bit so.
i want to feel.."known" by the writer and feel the mysterious jolt of excited energy when leaving a comment to spark a smile on someone else's lips... is that a tad bit, weird?
hmm...i believe a tad bit so.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
a letter to the editor
deary deary, 3/27/11
now what's going to happen then? if i have
random thoughts while writing with such a lovely
inked pen? my thoughts, as of late, have been
quite strange, even to me since i am the beholder.
are they quite strange to an outside reader?
personally, in your point of view, if you read my
thougts would you be afraid of me, as quite i am
of you? what do you think of me? i am new as well
as i am old. i am broken as well as i am whole. will
you please ring me and tell me how you feel?
maybe we can get together over a spot of tea.
perhaps a little walk in closet to get to know
me, but you will not get far because the door you entered
is as well as an exit. if i put on a special hat
and turn the door knob clockwise will i wind up
in a completely different setting? or in the room
beside this room? or an endless stairwell
chacing the hopes of lost dreams and endless
dreams of love thats lost? i bid you audieu, miss
sarah klevan. for your picture quite amazes me to
see. to see beyond what is typically perceived to be,
to believe in ab all new knowledge tree. day dream
lily, give away to the hanging space that is here to
stay. by golly i almost forgot about you too. i hope
you enjoyed the photo of my shoes. am i the one
writing this or is it a creature mixed with split
personalities of you? and you? and you? and you? and you?
you have to admit that what i speak at times is often
the truth. oh, will you love me as i wish to love you?
the intended target is mysterious to you as well as
he or she is mysterious to me....
farewell my pretty,
dont be petty.
now what's going to happen then? if i have
random thoughts while writing with such a lovely
inked pen? my thoughts, as of late, have been
quite strange, even to me since i am the beholder.
are they quite strange to an outside reader?
personally, in your point of view, if you read my
thougts would you be afraid of me, as quite i am
of you? what do you think of me? i am new as well
as i am old. i am broken as well as i am whole. will
you please ring me and tell me how you feel?
maybe we can get together over a spot of tea.
perhaps a little walk in closet to get to know
me, but you will not get far because the door you entered
is as well as an exit. if i put on a special hat
and turn the door knob clockwise will i wind up
in a completely different setting? or in the room
beside this room? or an endless stairwell
chacing the hopes of lost dreams and endless
dreams of love thats lost? i bid you audieu, miss
sarah klevan. for your picture quite amazes me to
see. to see beyond what is typically perceived to be,
to believe in ab all new knowledge tree. day dream
lily, give away to the hanging space that is here to
stay. by golly i almost forgot about you too. i hope
you enjoyed the photo of my shoes. am i the one
writing this or is it a creature mixed with split
personalities of you? and you? and you? and you? and you?
you have to admit that what i speak at times is often
the truth. oh, will you love me as i wish to love you?
the intended target is mysterious to you as well as
he or she is mysterious to me....
farewell my pretty,
dont be petty.
i'd like to be
a lois lane to a superman. i want to be the lovely spark in a man's eye.
my day's worth of conciousness streaming was a tad bit much on the negative side.
oh the negative side, the negative side, the negative side.
but it really all comes down to the lack of comfort in my life, of myself.
"...[B]eing genuinely authentic-something experts define as knowing who you are and what you value and being true to those things in your daily life-is vile to happiness..." Am i genuinely authentic?
"Research shows that if you talk about what you believe and identify with what you say, rather than hiding yourself from others, you'll be a happier person," says Kennon Sheldon, Ph.D., professor of psychological sciences at the University of Missouri at Columbia. Am i a happy person?
Sudden realization...i believe i treat ppl as cases rather than individuals, only in my mind though. i over evaluate and analyze... but better yet this is just a theory on how i think..i have to finish thinking this one through...i'll put that on a note to self basis.
"To achive peak happiness-autonomy, competence and relatedness- we have to do what we believe, do it well, keep getting better at it and connect to otehr people in the process, The surest way to achive all that is to live authentically."
"We all have versions of ourself that pull us in different directions"
thoughtful observations to live by and ponder over.
my day's worth of conciousness streaming was a tad bit much on the negative side.
oh the negative side, the negative side, the negative side.
but it really all comes down to the lack of comfort in my life, of myself.
"...[B]eing genuinely authentic-something experts define as knowing who you are and what you value and being true to those things in your daily life-is vile to happiness..." Am i genuinely authentic?
"Research shows that if you talk about what you believe and identify with what you say, rather than hiding yourself from others, you'll be a happier person," says Kennon Sheldon, Ph.D., professor of psychological sciences at the University of Missouri at Columbia. Am i a happy person?
Sudden realization...i believe i treat ppl as cases rather than individuals, only in my mind though. i over evaluate and analyze... but better yet this is just a theory on how i think..i have to finish thinking this one through...i'll put that on a note to self basis.
"To achive peak happiness-autonomy, competence and relatedness- we have to do what we believe, do it well, keep getting better at it and connect to otehr people in the process, The surest way to achive all that is to live authentically."
"We all have versions of ourself that pull us in different directions"
thoughtful observations to live by and ponder over.
my chosen (and already purchased) shoes for prom..
Steve Madden Cougars aka Mary Janes...came out to about one hundred and eight dollars but hey, fashion is quite a lot.
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