saturday

goddamnitt. this is ridiculous....i cant take it...i need someone to preoccupy my time....if not i'll be stuck swelling over themm..its too hard and it makes me feel pathetic.... i need a hugg...and i want only one person to give me one but they cant...why am i stuck so much on this one person? what do they mean to me that i cant possibly give them up? through everything i cant give up hope....why is this happening and what does it mean? i feel so useless and pathetic that i keep hoping but it will never work.... why wont it ever work? why did i have to fall so head over heals for this person when i should of known it was never going to work out? i have so many questions that i need answers to that im afraid i wont ever gett. ever since it first started i'd always hoped. there was just something about this person that has me going gaga...i wanted it to last so much longer but in truth i didnt know how long it was going to go....now i know i wanted so much more but its not going to happen....i dnt think it will ever happen and thats what hurts the most. is that i keep the hope thinking that what we had was something special...honestly im just blowing it out of porportion but thats what i felt...thats what i feel. like they said when i love i love hardd...and im seriously stuck and i dont see myself being saved any time soon..