A bcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
Hmm...A.
Here is to a very nice guy with interesting intentions..we developed a thing a few months ago but it only lasted..well it wasn't very long. And here he is back in my life. But the thing that bugs me, is we hadn't really talked since February at the latest and there he went a few days ago with a "Sean I miss you" and BAM! I lost my current angry state with him. I acted as if we did leave it on good terms when in reality I'm not quite sure but it sure as hell seemed that way today. And well, we fell into that same plan as before, so that leaves me with the question, "what the hell are we doing?" The one time we hang out in forever and it already happened as if we were in a relationship for months. But, with the current state of the social society and the lack of strict moral codes in this younger generation, was what happened...bad? I feel like I'm old enough to make my own decisions and do what I'd like but am I really that "good" of a girl to where I can't let myself be, well, free? I thought about that right before, and you know what, I did what I wanted..towards the end. I can't let what I believe my mother deems fit for me run my life. I'm a college girl now, I cam do what I wish and hey, it never hurt anyone to have a little of fun before all the seriousness begins. (another not, I couldn't help but feel different this time compared to the last, I actually enjoyed having his arms around me and feeling his breath on my neck, awh I really am just a girl haha)
a B cdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
Hmm....B.
Well there isn't really much to say about him other than we will only be friends forever. Nothing more, and no matter all the "we will do this" or "this is what could happen" it really will never be more than what it is now, what it has always been. And I honestly doubt that it will be a once a week conversation, more like when one is free and the other is not so busy, and even if you might get that mode of transportation soon I doubt anything will become closer. We are friends, always meant to be, always will and even though we may have that sexual tension, in the end, you are like an older brother, and well...you don't have sex with your older brothers haha
Abc D efghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
Hmm...D.
Now him, him, him. We had a thing earlier this year that just lasted a few months and even though it was fun while it lasted we ended on mutual terms. In our relationship it seemed to me that we were better as friends then anything else. But the other day when I went to his party and we all drank afterwards that slight..interest took me over and the next day we talked a lot thru text but when he asked to hang out, just the two of us, I turned him down. I was, well am, just not ready to rekindle that relationship bcz I really don't see it going anywhere and I'm not going to be the "girl who helped him in that little endeavor" ha no not at all. It's not worth it, sorry D..but we really are just better of as friends, which is really why it never worked before and I'm not going to waste my time on something I really don't want.
Abcdef G hijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
Hmm...G.
Now, her..haha yes her. We had a thing last year (oh my god this is just a post of drama and gossip haha) but it never really went anywhere and i know it's not going to go anywhere now(I'm being far more realistic now that I'm admitting everything and being open with this blog compared to what I think and believe in my mind lol) There is no need to fake the funk. Her and I are just friends and that's it, plus it would of never of worked out..I'm so happy to of fully realized that now, I'm very disappointed though that I acted so foolishly in the past. Well haha that's just high school. Time to tie the knots(not literally) and move on and get the hell outta town.
abcdefghi J klmnopqrstuvwxyz
Hmm...J.
J, J, J...what can I say about him other than I knew it wouldn't of worked from the get go, I have no idea why I kept fooling myself for so long..maybe bcz I wanted a sweet guy to wrap his arms around me..and I really could of gotten that but with such a slow pace? It really wasn't worth the wait. I like taking things slow but not that slow and I like tougher guys and even though he said he was just like that to girls he liked I didn't like it, not at all...it was all make believe pretty much. Not even that but towards the end I realized that it wasn't worth it to not be comfortable in the state that things were going. So I ended it. I am going to stay true my word, I will always remember him for his sweet personality and genuine behavior, as well as, the fact that it all exceeded my limits and helped me define the my..funnel(?) of attraction.
abcdefghij K lmnopqrstuvwxyz
Haaha now her,K.
No, no, no, no, No! I am never going to hang out with her no matter how much it tempts me. I can't, it's a waste of thought and emotion to go on her lust/but cant roller coaster. It's not worth it by far, if she doesn't know what she wants let be me. Over it, we will never keep in touch after this summer, bcz I'm not going to give all the effort, I'm tired of her games and in all honesty, I'm tired of her. I walked away from it the night of that party and that was it.
abcdefghijklm O pqrstuvwxyz
O...
Well now he is a very cool person but, very very unfortunately, too short for me, haha I know that seems a bit shallow but I'm only being realistic here. I tested it out saturday haha, now he is someone fun to party with and he is very cute, but nope! Not going to work, he's a very good friend that I'm happy to of establish a friendship with and that's the way it's going to go(:
abcdefghijklmnopq R stuvwxyz
Now why can't R fall off of the face of the planet? Why can't he move to Alaska and never talk to me again? Why can't I forget I ever met him, why can't I forget his number? Why can't I stay firm in my decision to never let him in again? I hate him, and yes I did love him, but I'll never let him play his game again. Too much pain and suffering and not enough actual gain. I won't let that happen again, I won't.
abcdefghijklmnopqr S tuvwxyz
Hahah now him! Okay so he pretty much fell from the sky and in all honesty, I bet they didn't really want him up there either. That whole thing is a joke and if it's not please prove me other wise. I guess I just really wanted something from the beginning, scratch that, I just want him..but I know it won't happen. I knew from the start that nothing would come of this but when my mom said something about it, it just further emphasized the fact that you can't believe what you see, hear, or read. It's just a game, and if you think you're winning, know this, I always do on the end...it comes out it the way that I best deem fit..too bad, you would of been very...fun to be with. Too bad, too bad. Don't take this wrong, but I don't believe you, but maybe it's my fault, I don't believe anyone, but it's a lot safer don't you think?
Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz(:
Leggoo(;
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